Stalking An Oscar Party

Last week, Diane Lane and Josh Brolin were having an Oscar party a block away from my work, so clearly I had to go and stalk it out. I saw stars, but they were pretty far away. Marissa Tomei was there and her hair looked a little crazy. Charlize Theron was tall and beautiful. And Elizabeth Banks was there in an interesting Cheetah getup. I did not see any of the rest of the people and it was a little hard to get good pictures because I was a little far. But I did get a picture of the girl who was standing there, crazily stalking with me. Except she might be a little more crazy than I am.


She gets celebrities to sign her body and then she goes and gets them tattooed on herself. She was very interesting. She had no job so I wonder how she affords to get the tattoos. She already had Josh Brolin, so she was very anxious to get Diane Lane, so she could have the pair. She tried to get Charlize, but she wasn't having any of that. I wonder if one day she will sell her skin for money.

I met a TMZ photographer and some other paparazzi guy who was explained that the pap industry is really suffering in this economy and they are lucky if they make $4000 a month. However, it doesn't really have to do with the economy; it has to do with the fact that no celebrities are acting like drunken idiots like in the hay day of Britney & Paris. They used to make about $12000 a month then. Poor paps - only $4000 a month. That's what I used to make when I had a real job as a consultant, so I don't really feel bad for those guys.

When I left my stalker friends were surprised and asked Why I was leaving because they thought I wanted an autograph. I said no, I just wanted to check it out, I saw some stars I am ready to go. They were kind of shocked and said again, you're not waiting? I think they didn't understand that I was just there to see the sights and not make money off of celebrities. And that mentality is one thing that makes LA different from normal people.